I’m sat typing, still fuming, at a phone in on ITV’s This Morning.  I should start by saying I love this programme, I love Holly and I love Phil and I love the chemistry and content on the show.  Normally.

Today there was a Phone in about ‘Fertility’ and I had the TV on in the background as I was working in the office.   Having asked the show repeatedly to cover the topic of ‘Secondary Infertility’ and raise the profile I was intrigued whether the subject would be covered.  It was, and I was thrilled.  Momentarily.

Poor Phoebe, who was brave enough to call in that she was struggling to conceive another child, is no doubt feeling depressed and saddened by the response of the, usually supportive, presenters.

Holly, who has three children and to my knowledge, not struggled to conceive, immediately told Phoebe that she had to ‘let go’ of the feelings of guilt and desire to give her child a sibling.  “let go” If she could let go, surely she wouldn’t have phoned into a national, live TV show?!  She told her to let go but she didn’t tell her how….that million dollar question that nobody can answer!!!

Holly later then went on to flippantly tell Phoebe she had only been trying for 9 months, and the average time was at least a year!!  So does this mean she doesn’t have a right to feel worried, frustrated, sad or even desperate?!

Phil, well Phil came out with the absolute corker, that “she should think of the positives and remember that she had a child when so many people in the phone in didn’t”.  If they wanted to do a demonstration of all the things people say to someone struggling with Secondary Infertility that really hurt, that create more isolation and cause more harm than good, then they hit the nail on the head.

I gasped each time as they both came out with the stereotypical comments that many of the poor women in our support group say they are faced with.

These women know they are lucky to have a child, can’t help feeling the need and the guilt and if they could turn off the desire and pain then they would.

I really hope I can get hold of Phoebe and point her in the direction of this website and our support group where this poor girl, who is clearly struggling, can get the support and advice she obviously needs.

This Morning.  Sorry guys you got it wrong this time.  sad face emoji

#FindPhoebe